5 Reasons Why Being Sober is More Fun Than You Think
Patrick Hensley • October 8, 2021
Among the many people considering entering recovery or getting sober exists the misconception that a life in sobriety is, or will be, very boring. For people who have spent large portions of their lives using substances, the words “fun” and “sober” aren’t often found in the same sentence. The irony is, the overwhelming majority of us find that a life in sobriety can be increasingly more fun than our previous way of life. A long list of reasons exist as to why this is the case, I have selected to highlight a few of my personal favorites.
- You begin to discover a true sense of self, while at the same time finding comfort in your own skin. Many people who misuse or abuse substances do not have a healthy relationship with themselves, they do not feel positively about themselves or have much confidence and experience a high degree of insecurity. Drugs and alcohol are often used as a tool to cope or mask these feelings or emotions. As a result, many people with substance abuse problems have never developed an authentic identity. They only know themselves as the person they are, or the person they become, when intoxicated. Sobriety allows us to develop this healthy sense of self, increase our self-love and self-esteem, and to discover who we really, truly are (which is often a much better, and much more likeable person than you might anticipate).
- You afford yourself the opportunity to be immensely healthier in every regard. Alcohol and drug misuse can be extremely taxing on the brain and body. As a result, people abusing drugs and alcohol often experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, have sleep issues, and lack mental clarity or sharpness. Combine that with a tendency toward an unhealthy diet and a lack of exercise, people with substance abuse issues aren’t often in the best health. A life in sobriety gives you automatic benefit of being healthier, focusing more time and effort on general wellness, and being fortunate enough to experience those benefits. Newbies in sobriety are often blown away with just how much better they feel, and look, and a long period of abstinence.
- You begin to develop more genuine and authentic relationships with others. When misusing or abusing substances, many of your relationships may be built around the substance use itself. These relationships can typically only go as far as surface level because they are built through inauthentic lenses. Romantic and intimate relationships are also formed through substance misuse, and those are likely to become toxic in a number of different ways. Your new relationships will be built on honesty, authenticity, mutual interests, and respect. These relationships are often deeper and more meaningful than the ones you had with your “bar buddies”.
- You develop better skills and mechanisms to cope with the challenges of life. Mind and mood altering substances are often used as a coping mechanism to numb or keep negative emotions at bay and as a result, someone who is misusing substances cannot or does not develop any other healthy coping skills. A life in sobriety affords you the opportunity to develop these healthy coping mechanisms and truly feel, experience, and handle the beautiful challenges and struggles of the human experience.
- No more hangovers! I haven’t had a hangover in six years. In fact, I sleep well, feel rested and energetic, and wake up nearly every morning eager to take on the day. Imagine the amount of time wasted from your collective hangover mornings. Think about all of the productive things you could accomplish if you could get all of those hours back. Not only the time aspect, but you also wake up remembering the previous night, which grants the added benefit of having long-lasting and meaningful memories.
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When we talk about the volunteers who stand out at Not A Glum Lot, one name consistently shines: Kyle Buzick. Today, we’re excited to share his story with Not a Glum Lot! The Early Days of Not A Glum Lot In our early days as an organization, we were still finding our footing. Bringing our “Not a Glum Gatherings” to life was a challenge, with each event requiring a Herculean effort from our team of dedicated volunteers, many of whom balanced full-time jobs. The process was anything but smooth; it was a chaotic dance of loading and unloading equipment, coordinating myriad details, and always, it seemed, needing just a few more helping hands. Enter Kyle Amidst this whirlwind, Kyle began to emerge as a beacon of reliability and enthusiasm. Initially a familiar face at a few events, Kyle’s presence became increasingly frequent—and increasingly invaluable. Unlike many who attended our gatherings, Kyle didn’t wait to be asked how he could help. He instinctively saw what needed to be done and jumped in. Whether it was grabbing the other side of a cooler, joining the “bucket brigade” to transport cases of beverages, or setting up chairs, Kyle’s proactive approach was a breath of fresh air. Going Above and Beyond What truly set Kyle apart was his commitment beyond the event’s duration. While most participants understandably slipped away as the events wound down, Kyle stayed behind, helping to pack everything up. Despite the physical exhaustion that came with our action-packed, outdoor events, Kyle’s energy and dedication never wavered. He was there early, ready to unload, and stayed late, ensuring everything was packed away and ready for the next event. A Valued Board Member Recognizing Kyle’s exceptional contributions, our board unanimously voted to invite him to join us as a board member, a role he accepted with enthusiasm. Over the past four years, Kyle has continued to be a cornerstone of our organization. Even as the number of our annual events has grown exponentially, Kyle’s dedication has remained unwavering. Today, we host more than ten times the number of outings we did when Kyle first began helping, and his role has only become more essential. Celebrating Kyle Kyle’s selflessness, intuitive understanding of what needs to be done, and willingness to step up have been a blessing to Not A Glum Lot. Our entirely volunteer-based board is continually inspired by his example. Kyle is, without a doubt, our volunteer extraordinaire. We are incredibly grateful for everything he brings to our organization every single day. Three Cheers for Kyle! As we reflect on our journey and look towards the future, we want to take a moment to celebrate Kyle and his extraordinary contributions. Thank you, Kyle, for your unwavering support and incredible generosity. Three cheers for Kyle!
Entering a life of sobriety can be such a momentous and impactful decision. Sobriety, and finding sobriety involves inevitable challenges, struggles, and hardships. This being the case, its paramount that people in early sobriety find an outlet to have fun, experience joy, and spend equally as much time experiencing happiness as they do in the challenges and struggles. The challenge here is many of us don’t yet know how to have fun without the help of drugs or alcohol, and part of life in early sobriety is about navigating those challenges specifically and finding other avenues to have fun. You can have fun without resorting to drinking or using drugs, and these are some simple steps to get you started in the right direction. Connect with other sober people Believe it or not, one of the quickest and easiest ways to trigger the pleasure center of the brain is to develop connections with other humans. We are naturally social creatures who develop our sense of worth, value, and sense of self through interactions with others. Make new friends and develop new connections. Make an effort to make friends by participating in a sport, making connections at a gym, a self-help group, or a volunteer group. Do your best to put yourself in positions to easily meet new people. This may require a certain level of willingness and courage, as many of us have used drugs or alcohol as a social lubricant to make interactions with others come easily or feel more natural. Social skills are a learned behavior and the more you use them, the better you will get and the easier they become. Make this effort and you will not be disappointed. Exercise often Most people might not look at someone running or working out in the gym and think to themselves, “that looks like fun”. However, regular exercise supports your ability to experience joy in more ways than you may realize. Regular exercise stimulates blood flow, increasing oxygenation of the body and improving circulation, which boosts energy levels and improves the mood. It also works to produce dopamine and serotonin as part of the brain’s reward circuit. Regular exercise also balances out dopamine and serotonin production, which will have a positive impact on your long-term health and ability to recover. The focus here should be on a consistent and regular routine that gets you up and moving, increases your heartrate, and gets your blood flow going. It helps if you find an exercise you enjoy, and almost anything that accomplishes the aforementioned criteria will do the job. Hiking, cycling, playing a sport, going for a swim, dancing, or even just spending 60 minutes cleaning your house. You can also find a way to overlap suggestions with playing a sport, as this will likely have the added benefit of social interaction. Make a habit of saying “yes” Live a life of invitation. Take advantage of opportunities that come your way to have new experiences, meet new people, try something new, and get outside of your comfort zone. Doing so will help you begin to learn what things or activities you enjoy, what inspires you, motivates you, and makes you tick. You will begin to learn things about yourself that you never knew, and you are likely to have a ton of fun along the way. Ask for help Join a community based self-help group like SMART Recovery or Alcoholics Anonymous. These fellowships will be filled with other people who are on, or have been on, a similar path as you. They can act as some added support to not only help you overcome the regular challenges related to early sobriety, but also help you learn how to have fun. They can answer questions, give guidance or direction, and act as a sounding board that you may not have in other areas of your life.
Substance abuse and misuse quite literally changes the chemistry of the brain. The mechanisms that create a type of “communication” between different parts of the brain are severely impacted and as a result, begin to function abnormally. Primarily, substance abuse and misuse create the overproduction of a chemical called dopamine, which acts as a messenger system for the experiences related to joy and happiness. When the brain experiences these chemically induced and increased levels of dopamine, it views this experience as rewarding and recognizes that the substances are the catalyst to that reward. When a person is abusing or misusing substances, they are literally “training” their brain to regularly seek those rewards through consumption of whatever chemical it finds “most” rewarding. When entering a life in recovery or finding sobriety, we have to start retraining our brains. We have to help our brain find new avenues of reward, as pleasure is an integral part of the human experience and without it, we would be unlikely to remain in sobriety. I life without joy, pleasure, and happiness is not an attractive option, and definitely not your only option if living a life of sobriety. When you have fun in sobriety, you are directly impacting those “habits” the brain formed from abusing substances. This rewiring process begins to heal your brain and return it to a normal, healthier level of function. The more fun you have, the more your brain heals. The more your brain heals, the more you will start to enjoy your newfound life of sobriety.
For many people entering recovery or finding sobriety, finding ways to have fun without drinking or using drugs can be a foreign and challenging task. Many people, unfortunately, end up returning to harmful patterns of substance abuse or misuse as a result of not being able to accomplish this task. It is for this reason, among a handful of others about to named, that it is extremely important for people in early sobriety to have fun. Without it, sobriety and life and general has the potential to be pretty boring, drab, glum, etc.. Beyond the purpose of having fun to keep sobriety from becoming boring or monotonous, some other examples of why having fun in sobriety is absolutely necessary or imperative are: It rebuilds neuropathways in the brain. Without this blog becoming a science report, I can tell you in short that the brain of a person who has been misusing substances over a long period does not function in the most healthy way. Particularly when it comes to experiencing joy. The more fun you have in early recovery the quicker your brain begins to heal, rebuilding neuropathways that have not served their purpose for long periods. You are essentially training your brain to experience joy without the assistance of mind or mood altering chemicals. As with any “training”, this requires repetition. So have fun, and have fun often. It acts as a time-filler. So many people new to sobriety don’t know what to do with their newfound free time (there will be plenty, trust me). If not filling this space with fun, productive activities, many are left to wallow in self-pity, feeling bad for themselves that they can’t drink. This is a slippery slope that would lead anyone back to the only way they know how to have fun, with the help of chemicals. Having fun in sobriety keeps those emotions of self-pity, and thoughts of drinking, at bay even if just for those short periods. The less time you’re thinking about drinking or feeling bad for yourself because you can’t drink. It reduces stress. People often don’t realize just how much stress they are putting on their brain when abusing or misusing substances. That stress bleeds over and we experience it in the form of worry, anxiety, etc. even when we are not intoxicated. Especially in early sobriety, this stress can act as a trigger to return to old or dangerous patterns of misuse. Having fun reduces stress levels, thereby reducing the chances of a relapse into old behaviors. It shifts your perceptions and old ideas about a life in sobriety. By keeping an open mind, reframing your definition of “fun”, and then engaging in those activities, your attitude about sobriety will inevitably begin to change. You begin to find that many perceptions you had about people in sobriety or recovery are simply untrue and by doing so, your attitude surrounding a life in recovery changes from negative to positive. Be willing to give fun in sobriety a chance and in doing so, you will give yourself the chance at long-term, sustainable, and enjoyable sobriety!
Finding sobriety is often the greatest gift a person can give themselves. However, people entering recovery often-times face a long list of unanswered questions about their new way of life. Chief among these questions is typically some version of, “what am I supposed to do for fun?”. Those of us in early recovery have spent the majority of our adolescent and/or adult lives drinking alcohol and using drugs. As a result, many of us have a very skewed perception or definition of “fun”. Fun without drugs and alcohol can be such a foreign concept when you have little-to-no experience of having fun without them. If you find yourself in this position and may be struggling to determine how to use your newfound time and additional spending money, two things that are often an inevitable result of finding recovery, this blog is here to help! Become a foodie: Newbies in recovery tend to have a newfound appreciation for good food. Find a restaurant guide, pinpoint some locations and dishes, and plan an outing with a date or a group of friends. Having a working knowledge of the local food scene is a skill that comes in handy more than you may think! (Additional and related tip: Learn and/or improve your cooking skills!) Host a competitive event: Friendly competition is not only fun but can be a great way to network and build your new community. Find a sand volleyball court, play kickball, softball, flag football, tennis, basketball…the options are endless! Go to a museum or an art exhibit: Fancy yourself a connoisseur of the arts? If you live in a metropolitan area you likely have an array of museum options. Keep an eye out for any exhibits that may be more specific to your tastes or interests. Go to a comedy show: A personal favorite of the author of this blog, stand up and improv comedy are both great options to keep yourself entertained on the weekend. A great activity for a date, your family, or a group of friends. Go for a bike ride or a hike: Another common newfound appreciation for people in early recovery is an affinity for the outdoors. Finding a hiking a trail or take your bike on a ride through a scenic are of town. Also a great activity to start getting back into shape! Treat yourself to a spa day: As previously mentioned, you are likely to have quite a bit more disposable income after entering recovery. Use some to treat yourself to a massage or a facial! Find some DIY type of projects: Get crafty with some artwork for your home or apartment. If you’re feeling super confident, find a do it yourself home improvement project. Have a game night: Play cards or rotate boardgames with a group of friends. (Author’s suggestion Cards Against Humanity). Go to an arcade or theme park: You might be surprised just how much fun you’ll have, as a full-grown adult, at an arcade. Same goes for theme parks. Win some prizes, ride some rides, play some games, and ride some go-karts if your lucky enough to have those at your local arcade. Find a new hobby: People in early recovery almost always find they are passionate about a hobby or subject they had no idea they would enjoy so much. Author’s suggestions : Golf (my personal favorite), fishing, bowling, soccer, tennis, archery, running/exercise, cooking, trap shooting, and hiking just no name a few!